Hoard of the Dragon Queen

Pan Pipes Revenge

A Bard's Tale

Welcome back Sports Fans.
We join our intrepid adventurers back in the city where they meet famous blower of pipes Durlan Silverhand. Maccath has organised a meeting with some council, and they gave us some money for drinking (200 gold should be appropriate amount)

Party is given free time until the important plot point to be revealed the next morning. Humphrey Augustus Greycastle rummaging through party gear finds a strange and unusual No 11. Much soul searching ensues and No 11 was revealed to be a Bunch of Scrolls that need to be identified. Sounds like hard work so no one seems to move forward on this action. Kara Bersk notices that she has a Glaive of Warning on her back, but so far it has failed to warn her that she is travelling with a group of perverts who admire her buttocks as they travel.

[Ducked out of the room for a piss]
Came back and Darren was some guy in a cult and they have some information on worm speakers (WTF?). Darren appears to have lost the White Dragon mask and is looking for the person who has stolen it. The council want us to take Darren out, we are unsure if this is for dinner or a movie? Either way someone is getting lucky tonight.

We need to head to some bridge near some hills. Apparently we are thinly spread with only a few asians. Darren can be spotted by his purple Torana.

Always the opportunists the party asks if we can get a sky ship, but they are all out of them so all they have available are some horses. Humphrey Augustus Greycastle still laments not being able to fit a giant in his bag of holding.

The council had heard that there was a dwarf in a Purple Torana up there from their Asians and that will be Darren. The council have provided the party with unlimited rations for their journey, winter gear and climbing gear.

After 4 days and one take away pizza we come upon a camp at the bridge. We find a newly built keep, some western wagons and people just sleeping on the ground. We head to Bolo’s Inn to get breakfast and whiskey. We learn to our surprise that Bolo is a lady.

The party looks around for Darren but no one in a purple Torana has been seen, nor does anyone in town have a question mark above their head.

The bridge is guarded by some paladins from some unknown religious sect, the catholic church.

After much bribery the barman Marco opens up about some dwarf in a purple torana, apparently he was some sort of hero. Macro calls Bolo who knows the story and come out to recant the tale.

He was asking questions about the hills and some tall fella asks him what’s his business in the hills. Next thing Darren pulls out an ACDC CD and stabs the yuppy dude to death. When they took the yuppies hood off they realised he was a used car salesman, sorry lizard folk. Apparently this camp is full of rednecks and killing a gator was seen as a heroic act, so they all worship Darren. The sick mother fuckers have the body of the lizard folk on ice, you would think he had arrived on a boat and Darren was actually Scott Morrison..

Harbek decides to speak with the dead to see of the lizard folk knows anything important. Asking 5 questions we learn about his tribe located at Tomb of Diderous, some wizard in the Serpant hills. It is about 5 days travel into the Serpant Hills according to Bolo, through some badlands and some rocky plateaus.

Darren had at least 12, 5, 6, a dozen men with him when he left the bridge. Humphrey Augustus Greycastle heads off to buy rations as the only member of the party who actually bothers eating and marking them off. Good luck to him who can be bothered with menial tasks like that. Harbek meanwhile heads off to take a shit and realises he is out of toilet paper. Luckily Peren’s bedroll was within easy reach and Harbek was not required to track sheets of toilet paper today.

Talking with the Paladins, we find that we have no authority, they can only guard the bridge and one day they will be able to have alter boys.

We set off towards the Purple Python Hills with a guide and a couple of Paladins to ensure we are molested.

We travel for a day before deciding to camp for the night, with 4 watches, Harks sleeps through the night, and no hardcore action is had during the night. We happen upon 3 Hill Giants feasting on some corpses. Peren comes up with the:
a. brilliant plan to attach a bean from his bag of beans to an arrow and fire at them
b. stupid plan to attach a bean from his bag of beans to an arrow and fire at them
“I’ll lock in b thanks Eddie.”

Humphrey Augustus Greycastle says, “Good day gentlemen, have you seen Darren?” As the Hill Giants begin charging.

A distinct lack of flying horses soured this combat session, however at least one flying boulder was sighted. After 12 seconds the giants were despatched and the party resumed their journey.

And then made camp for the night. His Eminence Harbek bedded down for the night and slept well yet again.

See a campfire in the distance..blah..blah that’s it for this week folks. Join us again in two weeks for another exciting episode of Whore of the Dragon Queen.


Coweater Rexd666

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